09 Feb Unlocking the Door to Healthy Connections
Unlocking the Door to Healthy Connections
We all want to be loved and accepted. While this is true, we must be careful to connect with those who consistently demonstrate behaviors which causes us to feel cared for and accepted.
Additionally, we must do regular check-ins with ourselves that we are not altering who we are because we want to be accepted.
When developing friendships and connections vulnerability and healthy clearly defined boundaries are going to be imperative.
Let’s start with being vulnerable. Truth is, connections are built when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, however we must share with people who show up emotionally in our world AND hold space for us to be our imperfect selves.
Share in increments, over time. When doing this be careful not to overshare in a short period of time. As you share take note of how the friend responds, this helps us to know if they are earning the right to hear our story.
Yes, earning the right to hear your story!
How can someone earn this right?
- Being nonjudgmental
Hearing and seeing you for who you are in the moment that you are in.
- Holding space for you
Holding space for you to speak about things you are not proud of, of pain, of struggles and frustrations. Listening and supporting.
- Unconditional love
Love you through your strengths and struggles.
Be mindful not to share your story with people who
- Somehow turns your moment of sharing into their own and you end up having to console him or her.
- Those who feel sorry for you (sympathize) instead of feeling with you (empathize)
- Those who expect you to be superhuman and perfect, being disappointment with your imperfections.
- Those who belittle your concerns when you share as not being as bad as you feel they are.
- Those who have the attitude that they have it worse or seen worse. Individuals who when you share always has something to say to try and out do what you have shared.
When you are sharing and connecting with individuals who are nonjudgmental, who hold a space for you, and love you through your struggles, you have unlocked the door that leads you down the path of beautiful connections.
Be Intentionally Hopeful & Authentically You.
By: Chautè Thompson, LMHC, CDWF
I am Chautè Henry Thompson, licensed psychotherapist, Relationship and Restoration Expert. I help women who have experienced significant breakups to Rediscover and Redefine themselves, cultivating healthier relationships with self and others. If you are looking for support in healing after divorce or significant breakups you can join my newsletter list for free monthly resources and support.
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