16 Mar Is Emotional Intelligence THAT Important?
Is Emotional Intelligence THAT Important?
When choosing a partner what do you consider? Personality, finances, family, sexual compatibility? Do you consider their emotional maturity? How important is emotional maturity and what does it look like to date someone with low emotional intelligence?
Dating someone with a low emotional intelligence can mean constant arguments, not feeling understood, a lack of empathy, walking on eggshells, dealing with someone who is easily annoyed, frustrated, irritable and/or angry, dealing with someone who bottles up and/or suppresses emotions, receiving the silent treatment, dealing with someone who is not open to varying perspectives, dealing with someone who lacks self-control and/or the ability to regulate their emotions and the list goes on and on and on…
What is emotional maturity?
Emotional Maturity is the ability to feel, regulate, process your emotions and effectively communicate emotions with an open mind to differing perspectives.
There are ways to identify if someone has a high level of emotional intelligence. A few signs include:
- The ability to have difficult and/or emotional conversations with a level of calmness, accountability and respect.
- The ability to process one’s own emotions and not take it out or lash out on their partner.
- The ability to understand when to have difficult and/or emotional conversations and when to put them aside and support each other.
- The ability to look at situations through different lenses, empathizing, instead of only seeing it one way, while also taking opportunities to improve.
- The ability to share one’s perspective and feelings in a compassionate empathetic manner.
- The ability to approach partner without judgements, accepting their imperfections.
When in a relationship this can look several ways. Here are a few examples:
- When having a disagreement, being able to pause if conversations get too sensitive and come back to the topic at a later date. With this, still being able to have loving conversations.
- If having a bad day, sharing that fact with partner and asking for necessary space.
- Enjoying partner wholeheartedly- accepting partner’s imperfections. Embracing their strengths and supporting through weaknesses.
- Taking lessons from past wrongs and/or mistakes; Continually doing work on self to improve.
- Setting healthy boundaries and holding oneself and others accountable to them.
There are levels to this! The more you work on yourself and build your own emotional maturity the less you will desire to be with someone who doesn’t take the time to build their own emotional maturity.
Be Intentionally Hopeful & Authentically You.
By: Chautè Thompson, LMHC, CDWF
I am Chautè Henry Thompson, licensed psychotherapist, Relationship and Restoration Expert. I help women who have experienced significant breakups to Rediscover and Redefine themselves, cultivating healthier relationships with self and others. If you are looking for support in healing after divorce or significant breakups you can Subscribe for relatable resources, monthly chats, and support.
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